What’s Next? Transitioning from all-virtual forum meetings to the new “normal”

Our forums have been meeting virtually for months now.  We’re gotten used to Zoom. We’ve adjusted our meeting frequency, length and agenda to accommodate the opportunities and challenges of this new format. Now we are beginning to ask: What’s next?  Are we ever going back to the old “normal” of monthly meetings, 3-4 hours in length, and always in person; or will there be a new “normal” for our forum?

How and when will we have our first in-person meeting?

People are hungering for in-person gatherings, but still many are afraid.  Given these mixed emotions, it’s important to clarify upfront the lowest common denominator of safety requirements so that people are feeling their safety will be respected should they decide to meet in person. Specific dimensions to consider include:

• Should we start with a shorter meeting, perhaps two hours long, to begin getting comfortable with the idea?
• What venue is acceptable?  Outdoors, in the backyard of a member’s home; or inside in a room that is large enough for socially distant seating? How will members be assured that great care is taken in all areas of hygiene?
• If the plan is to meet outside, but it starts raining, will we end the meeting and go home?  If we scramble and run indoors, will that lead to someone’s discomfort?
• Will everyone always wear masks or only when social distancing is not possible?
• Do we bring our own food/drinks to minimize close-up contact, or will we take turns going to grab a drink or snack so as not to crowd anyone?
• Should we provide a Zoom back-up option in case the weather doesn’t cooperate, or if the forum decides to revert to a virtual format due to last-minute changes in the health status of individual members or surging local virus rates?

What if some members are not ready or able to meet in-person?

It’s generally considered best practice for everyone to be in the same room, or for all to be virtual. That way, all members participate with equal standing.

However, your forum may reach a point where all except one or two members are willing to try an in-person meeting. We listen carefully and respect the needs of all members.  Perhaps some have their own compromised health situations or are caring for family members who need to be protected.

With the blessing of those who choose to stay virtual, the forum may gather in person with one or two members still on Zoom.  Each remote participant gets their own separate laptop/screen. If using Zoom, pin the video for one remote user on each computer.  Put the computers at different places around the room to give remote participants the best possible view of everyone who is physically present.  Follow these best practices for the optimal experience.

What if some members are no longer in your local area?

COVID has disrupted everyone’s lives and some members may have relocated during the pandemic.  As long as all meetings are virtual, it doesn’t matter.  We don’t care where you are calling from, as long as you continue to participate reliably.

If your forum resumes in-person meetings, those who are temporarily out of the area can continue to participate via Zoom, if the forum allows that.  Those who have relocated for a longer, indeterminate period present a bigger challenge.  They may also continue to participate virtually for an agreed number of months, while they seek to join another forum; they may take a sabbatical; or they may resign, with our deep appreciation for their time in the forum.

Longer term, would a hybrid of in-person and virtual meetings work best for our forum?

Some forums, now comfortable with virtual meetings, may experiment with a mixed mode of sometimes all-together, and sometimes on Zoom.  The frequency, length and format of meetings will vary depending on multiple factors:

• The number of members who are no longer in the local area, but who can return occasionally
• Commuting times to get to meetings or frequency of member travel out of the area
• Planned agendas, with some topics working well remotely and others better addressed in-person

We’re all figuring this out as we go, and open, honest conversation and respectful listening will help get us through this transition.

Thank you to Mo Fathelbab and Roni Witkin for their suggestions regarding this blog post.  All opinions are my own.

Ten tips for awesome virtual forum meetings

A forum member recently said to me his group’s mantra from the beginning has been “Forum is always on, always in person, no one calls in.”  In a time of pandemic, social distancing, and restricted travel, that approach may no longer be sustainable.

And yet, we need forum more than ever!  Consider following these recommendations developed by my facilitator colleague Vince Corsaro and others:

1. Pick the right meeting platform.
2. Use the technology well, following established best practices.
3. Reinforce security and confidentiality.
4. Set norms that support a virtual format.
5. Plan a shorter agenda focused on deep, connecting conversations.
6. Consider scheduling “virtual coffees” outside of full group meetings to support each other in tough times.
7. Get back together face-to-face as soon as you can.
8. Create a private social media platform (e.g., Slack, WhatsApp) to support ongoing communication.
9. Use shared, community building apps (like those available for Fitbit users) to monitor members’ health and fitness goals.
10. Find other creative ways to connect such as a virtual “happy hour” or a designated day to post selfies on the group’s social media stream.

For more details and suggestions on each of these ideas, see Vince’s Google doc.

Top Tips for Moderators

The role of forum moderator – being a peer leader of other leaders – can be challenging at times.  Take to heart these seven tips and you too can be a successful moderator.

1. Don’t be a “chill” host. As suggested by Priya Parker in her beautiful book The Art of Gathering, leading requires planning, intentionality and focus. Great (forum) meetings don’t just happen by chance.
2. Delegate! Don’t feel you have to do it all yourself.  Healthy forums operate on a voluntary, shared leadership model where everyone is expected to pitch in to support the group’s activities.
3. Agree to norms and live by them. A forum constitution can be a touchstone of shared values, commitments and expectations that can be referred to whenever situations develop that may disrupt the group’s equilibrium or effectiveness.
4. Clear the air early and often. Letting annoyances, distractions and anger build up can lower trust and lead to forum members disengaging.  Addressing issues before they escalate helps create a healthy space for members to share their toughest life challenges and highest aspirations.
5. Get on the “balcony”. Regularly take an outsider’s perspective.  How are we doing? Are we hearing from everyone?  How can we improve?
6. Be willing to experiment! Almost every aspect of forum can benefit from mixing it up occasionally.  Doing something once doesn’t commit the group to stick with it forever.
7. Ask questions of genuine curiosity. When stressed, refrain from judging questions, and instead ask learning questions.  How did you come to see the situation this way? How does this issue affect you? What leads you to believe this is the right way forward? What questions do you think we should be asking ourselves?

What should I share during my forum update?

I was recently asked by a new forum member:  When we share our monthly updates, are we supposed to just pick one thing or several or one from each category (business, family, personal)?  Can you provide any guidance for how to choose?

My response:

• Don’t overthink it. Go with what’s deepest, most challenging, what carries the most emotional weight for you, what keeps you up at night (worry/fear) and/or gets you up in the morning (excitement/joy).
• Questions you might ask yourself to help prioritize how to use your limited update time:
  • Which of these issues are deepest and most significant for me?
  • If I would like to look back three years from now and say my forum has had a life-changing impact because they helped me with an issue, which issue(s) would you choose to share with the forum?
• Other questions that might help you select what to share:
  • What is the toughest relationship challenge (personal or professional) that you are facing now?
  • What is the toughest leadership challengeyou are facing now?
  • What is the greatest fearyou have now? What key transition is coming up in your life that you are most scared or uncertain about?
  • What is going on in your life right now that you have not spoken with anyone about? What are you hiding?
  • What are you complaining about, blaming others for,or notice yourself playing the villain, victim, or hero?
  • What are you not sharing because you don’t want to seem perfect? (You will feel like you are bragging about your good fortune.
  • What are you not sharing because you don’t want to seem imperfect? (You will feel inadequate compared to your forum mates or to others in your life.)
  • What is something that you don’t like about yourselfthat you are working on?
• You might end up focusing on one key issue or several, and they can be drawn from any and all parts of your life (business, family, personal).