Powerful Endings: What am I taking away from today’s meeting?

No matter who started the conversation, no matter whose issue was explored in depth, we can all take something of value away from each meeting.  By allocating a specific time at the end of the meeting to share takeaways, we encourage greater self-reflection. And as I hear what you took away, I may agree, may take away a different point, or may be sparked to consider a new approach.  Possible takeaways may be in any of these categories:

Question: I wonder why? What if? How come? Would I…?  Can I…?

Appreciation: I want to express gratitude to a fellow forum member or to someone else in my life.  I will do that before the next forum meeting!

Issue: I need to pursue, explore, gain a greater understanding of X, so I can do a better job of Y.

Perspective: Wow! That’s a new angle, a whole new way to think about my problem or opportunity.

Insight: I can now more keenly see the true nature of my situation, because….

Idea: A new conviction, conception, opinion, principle, or framework is forming in my mind!

Connection: I need to make a note to reach out to person A to pursue….  Or maybe a forum mate can introduce me to person B?

Intention: I have a new goal, purpose, or objective in mind.  I need to flesh this out further.

Action: I have a new S.M.A.R.T. goal, one that is specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-framed.  Shall I tell my forum mates about this goal, so they can serve as my accountability witnesses?

Masked and unmasked updates

These days we all need to wear some kind of mask when we leave our homes and can’t socially distance from others. Forum, meeting on a virtual platform, is one place where we can take off both our physical and our “psychological” masks, be vulnerable and discuss what really matters.

Consider doing this combined icebreaker/update activity at your next virtual forum meeting:

• MASKED: Please bring and show your favorite or usual mask, and tell its story (up to 1 minute each, go around the “table”)
• UNMASKED: Take off the “mask” you are wearing in front of your colleagues, family, and/or self. How are you REALLY feeling at this time? What is the Most Important Thing you want to tell the rest of us? Can you be vulnerable with your fellow forum members, and can you ask for what you need? Up to 3 or 4 minutes each (depending on length of meeting and number of members).
• NOTICING (Optional, 10 minutes): Members have one minute each to quickly notice what was said or unsaid, tone and body language, anything you resonated with by deeply listening. No dialogue, questions, judgment, or advice giving. Members will not have time and are not expected to comment on every other member’s update.

Note: It’s best to tell members in advance about this exercise so they can have their physical mask handy, and can reflect on the suggested update questions.

Credit: Thank you to Melissa Weiksnar for sharing this exercise.

For the unprecedented times in which we now live: Forum update questions

As you prepare your forum update in times of pandemic, you may choose to answer one or more of these questions:

• What part of your life or family needs the most care right now?
• What leadership challenge in your business has been exacerbated by the coronavirus crisis?
• What personal or professional relationship has been stressed by the coronavirus crisis?
• What is the greatest fear you have now?
• How has/will the crisis affect your company or family’s burn rate (income vs. expenses)? What approaches are you considering to deal with the situation?
• Do you feel you are over-reacting or under-reacting to the evolving situation?
• What risks do you see to your business/industry as a result of changes to the global business environment?
• How is the coronavirus global situation causing you to re-evaluate your priorities, if at all?
• What can you stop doing right now that will help you focus on this current challenge?
• What key transition is coming up in your life that you are most scared or uncertain about due to the crisis?

With every question you can also reflect: How does the situation or challenge make you feel? How can the forum help?

Reviewing the Past Decade, and Visioning for the Next Decade

The core of a regular forum meeting is monthly updates.  How am I feeling about what’s happened since we last met?  What do I dread and anticipate that’s coming up? When you want to zoom out to a much longer time horizon, consider doing this exercise.

Questions to reflect on in advance of the forum meeting:

Review of the Past Decade:

• What difficulties/hardships did you face? What did you learn?
• What, if anything, would you do differently if you had the chance again?
• How did you change? What did you gain? What are you willing to let go of?

Vision for the Next Decade:

• Where am I in two years?
• Who is around me? How am I feeling (differently than today)? What am I creating?
• Two years from now, how will I think about where I want to be in eight more years?

In the forum meeting, there are two options on how to share depending on the available time:

Longer version (two rounds)

1. Each person takes 5 minutes (timed) to reflect on the past decade. Then open up to general discussion for 10-20 minutes. What coming up for me as I hear others? How am I feeling as I hear the ways that others have answered the questions?

Repeat in the same fashion, looking forward to the next decade.

Shorter version (one round)

2. Each person takes 5 minutes (timed) to reflect on both the past and next decade. Then allow an additional 15-30 minutes to reflect further: What coming up for me as I hear others? How am I feeling as I hear the ways that others have answered the questions?

Source: Kerim Baran, member of an HBS Alumni Forum in San Francisco with original credit to Ciela Wynter, an executive/CEO coach and founder of Joan of Sparc, an innovative platform for empowerment and transformation through self-inquiry.