How does your brain process emotions: Lessons from the Disney/Pixar movie “Inside Out”

The recently released movie “Inside Out” may wow you with its animations and special effects, but it is not a children’s movie.  We peer inside the brain of a young girl and see five emotions – joy, sadness, anger, disgust, and fear – fighting to control what will be imprinted into her core memory, and with which emotional “color.” Encourage everyone in your forum to watch the movie before your next meeting, and then pose some of these questions suggested by Abigail Burd:

1. When we meet Riley, most of the time Joy is in charge of her thoughts and personality. Which emotion(s) do you feel most often?
2. Riley and her family go through a lot of changes when they move from Minnesota to San Francisco. Have you ever gone through a big transition like this?
3. How are the glowing balls, or “core memories” made? What are yours?
4. What do the core memories have to do with Riley’s personality?
5. When Sadness touches one of the happy core memories, she colors it blue. What do you think is going on then? Is it possible that our current moods can color our past memories? Or how we define our personality?
6. When Riley’s mother tells her that she is helping her parents by being their “happy girl,” Riley feels pressure to only show them her joy. What do you think of this?
7. Do you think that our society values certain emotions over others? Which ones?
8. At the end of the movie, Joy learns that other emotions, especially Sadness, are also important. Why?
9. Do you think it is easier for males or females, or for younger or older people, to express different emotions? Which ones? Why?

The Final Frontier: Starting a Conversation in Your Forum about Money

It’s sometimes said that money is the final frontier of forum.  When forums are willing to share deeply about a topic like this, they have reached a level of trust and vulnerability that leads to transformational value.

This does not mean that all members have to be ready to disclose income, net worth, and other key financial indicators.  Instead, consider these options:

1. One (brave) member shares voluntarily their financial snapshot, and then describes how they think about their situation, options, and concerns. Others can then respond with their own experience, without feeling they need to disclose specific numbers.
2. Here’s a list of a great list of conversation-starting questions (adapted from a recent Wall Street Journal article on this topic):

• What is your most painful money memory?
• What is your most joyful money memory?
• How did these experiences shape your relationship with money?
• What three things did your parents teach you about money?
• Which of these lessons have you applied in your financial life?
• Was your family rich, poor, or middle class growing up? How did you feel about that?
• What were your family’s values around money?
• What is your greatest financial fear?
• What are your most important financial goals? Do you know how much is “enough” for you, this year and long term?
• What are you willing to do differently around money?

I would love to hear how your forum approaches this topic.  We can all learn from each other.

What’s on Your Moral Bucket List?

David Brooks recently published an insightful op-ed in the New York Times called The Moral Bucket List.  The article provides great food for thought for any forum.  Some questions that your forum might discuss after reading the article:

• What are my “resume” virtues? What are my “eulogy” virtues?  What do I aspire to be versus who I am today?
• Consider Brooks’ “moral bucket list.”  Which of these have I cultivated in the past; which can I cultivate in the coming year?
• How can forum help each of us as we strive for meaning and purpose in our lives?

An evergreen forum topic: Dealing with aging parents

The topic of elderly parents is a great one for forums because everyone has dealt with it, will deal with it, or has observed others (including their own parents) deal with it.

Following are possible approaches which you can adapt for your forum’s purpose.

–          A pre-meeting option:  Ask each member to answer a selection of these questions related to their own parents (http://www.aarp.org/relationships/caregiving-resource-center/info-08-2010/gs_talking_points.html)

–          Begin the discussion with a story.  The following is a well-known one that might set the stage: http://www.snopes.com/glurge/woodbowl.asp

–          Icebreaker: How did you observe your parent(s) talk about and deal with their parents as they became older and needed help?  What lessons did you take away?

–          Presentation/discussion options:

• One member shares his/her particular situation in typical forum style and others respond with relevant experiences.
• Two or three members dealing with related issues share mini-presentations, and then others respond with their questions and experiences. (This approach is more complicated than the traditional single-presenter session.)
• Go around the table asking: What question(s) are you (or your parents if forum members are younger) wrestling with related to this topic?  Record the questions on a flip chart/white board and then decide which ones you want to focus on using these prompts:
  –  What thought provoking questions could we ask each other to help us think about this topic in new ways?
  –  What stories from our own experiences could we share to help each other?

–          Closing exercise: Go around the room and ask each member to share what insight/idea/perspective they are taking away from today’s discussion.